October 2011
1 post
1 tag
faith
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the convictions of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1
Life throws us trials. At times we question where God is in the midst of our circumstances. We can easily complain about what we lack, the things that we want or even think we deserve, but don’t get. But it is the trials that build us up and cause us to establish a foundation upon God and not...
August 2011
2 posts
God's Will: "We need boring Christians" →
know-gods-will:
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/deeper-walk/features/26398-we-need-boring-christians
We all long for a radical calling, but monotony can be its own mission. I was sure God was telling me to quit my landscaping job. I was bound for something more important. The horizon beckoned. So I…
July 2011
1 post
fear of the Lord
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.” Proverbs 9:10
“In the fear of the Lord one has strong confidence, and his children will have refuge.” Proverbs 14:26
“The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life, that one may turn away from the snares of death.” Proverbs 14:27
“The fear of the Lord leads to...
June 2011
1 post
summertime
i think
this summer
is a critical summer
if there’s even a such thing as a non-critical one..
May 2011
2 posts
about introverts →
Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.
Myth #2 – Introverts are shy. Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a...
April 2011
2 posts
“If you thought you earned God’s love, then you will never know how to love...”
– (via iamapun)
Cartooning Christianity: 50th Post: Arnold and... →
i never reblog, but this is pretty amazing. hey arnold here i come!
ftijordan:
Disclaimer: This is going to be, by far, the longest post on here I have written. So even if you decide to read it, you will most likely lose interest by the end unless you are terribly interested in Hey Arnold! But this post, unlike most of my others, isn’t for you. This is for me, in the purest…
March 2011
1 post
stretching
Resonates with my heart.
Quoted from a post by a friend of a friend.
http://laurenelisenanson.wordpress.com/2011/03/07/is-family-worth-it/
At the end of your life, when you stand before God, and he asks, “Did you learn love?” what will you say? Will you show him your accomplishments? Or will you show him the times it was hard but you still held on to a friendship; the times you wanted to...
February 2011
1 post
here we go
finally started journalling today! bought a nice book and pen like a month ago but never got around to it. realized I like it a lot. pretty sure it’s gonna lead to more blogging too. (good for you right? or not..)
and while I’m here, I’ll give an inadequate update.
after a weekend of dreading school and straight bumming it, I’m back. sorta a new start but not that...
December 2010
1 post
discipline
today
I declare
is the beginning
of
discipline
August 2010
1 post
my self
my mind says to slow down my flesh says to seize the day my body says to sleep my heart says to remember what really matters my spirit is hungry
hello friends
June 2010
1 post
just for now..
Well internet isn’t as conveniently accessible to me as I would like(will be better soon, i think), so I actually typed this up and more a couple days ago. I have much more I want to eventually say and started some, but didn’t finish, so for now I guess this will have to do…
Long overdue update. But its been a little over a week here in Korea, and so far its been pretty fun....
May 2010
2 posts
humility
humility is a funny thing
as soon as you think you’re getting good at it, you’ve lost it
what the bipolar?
i just kinda skimmed my own blog and realized its quite bipolar. haha
its like emo, emo, woe is me…i want things to be better… to random pound loose! muppet video! chicken!
i guess its kind of a reflection of my personality.
April 2010
1 post
freedom
what does true freedom look like?
”..if you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31-32 ESV)
i want freedom. i want freedom from what it means to be a “christian.” i feel like im sometimes trapped in the pressures of being a “good christian.” i cant help but look at others and feel...
March 2010
5 posts
pound loose
somebody revealed a strange new greeting/handshake to me in my dream.
the unconventional hybridization of the fist bump, or “pound,” and the friendly hawaiian hand motion, sometimes called “hang loose.”
pound loose brother
got it?
To check this hypothesis, Kozak systematically mutated nucleotides around the initiation codon in a cloned rat preproinsulin gene. She substituted a synthetic ATG-containing oligonucleotide for the normal initiating ATG, then introduced mutations into this initiation region, placed the mutated genes under control of the SV40 virus promoter, introduced them into monkey(COS) cells, then labeled...
self awareness
are you aware of where your desires come from? what makes you want what you want? i wonder if we’re even supposed to think about that.
ears of another
just one question.
possibly out of a doubting in my own heart. or maybe just a curiosity and expectancy for encouragement.
how do YOU hear God speak and what was the journey that led you to know the voice of the Lord?
if comfortable, feel free to leave your personal answers. it would bring joy to me to hear them!
im alive
just letting you know im alive
thought about writing posts, but never really got around to it. i have a few drafts stored up but never published.
i wanna stop worrying about what you might think of me based off what i write. or stop trying to delicately manipulate your view of who i am. i really wish and hope i can be honestly honest and stop lying to you and lying to myself. ive been realizing...
January 2010
1 post
where are my thoughts?
its been “hella” long since i last wrote or even had thoughts ive wanted to put down.
i seem to often jealously look back on things ive written in the past and wonder where that person went. right now i feel like i have nothing to say, when i remember last year there were times when so many thoughts were fighting each other to win the battle in my mind.
i wonder how blind i am to the...
November 2009
4 posts
amusing
stole this from some espn.com column. thought it was amusing.
Q: What do you think would be the most awkward but (somewhat) realistic casting for a romantic comedy? I’m going with Maggie and Jake Gyllenhaal. — Matan B., Riverside
SG: After consulting with the Mailbag Committee, my rankings look like this …
7. Mike Tyson and Robin Givens.
6. Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston;...
Watchpretty genius. i wonder who discovered this?
haha seems like some really angry fat guy thought “fricken boness! theres gotta be a better way!!” and after resorting to eating the chicken and the bones all together, got a piece of bone lodged in his throat and went to the emergency room and almost died and then decided “hmm lemme think about this a little… wait…. this...
October 2009
2 posts
aw that sucks
well i had a long rant of a post pretty much all typed up and i thought i saved it but it looks like its lost. that was probably the rawest look into an angry me. it would have shown my vulnerability, shown my humanness, and i thought it was pretty funny. but what i was feeling then just can’t be recreated. i know, im kinda sad too. (dont worry it wasnt that great. it was just about my chem...
always a good read
so profound and true.. i think..
The Bible does not say that God punished the human race for one man’s sin, but that the nature of sin, namely, my claim to my right to myself, entered into the human race through one man. But it also says that another Man took upon Himself the sin of the human race and put it away— an infinitely more profound revelation (see Hebrews 9:26 ). The nature of sin is...
August 2009
3 posts
ill try
so i cant even begin to write a real post. the convo before gives a look into some of my internal struggles of this summer. all i can say is that satan really does all he can to bring us down. why is it so difficult to abide and trust in Him..
snippet of oswald!
Repentance does not cause a sense of sin— it causes a sense of inexpressible unworthiness. When I repent, I realize that I am...
taste of the turmoil
me: but there were a lot of internal struggles
for me through some of syria and the rest of summer
so i dont know if the things i did had that much of a direct impact on me as of now
dunno how to say
but ive been sharing this a lot but
ive been feeling like almost depressed and sort of lost and frustrated mostly spiritually
Jason: wow, that is tough
would you say that started after you got back, or you left for Syria?
*before you left for Syria
me: mm
i feel like it sort of started halfway through syria and got worse after getting back
but i felt a little bit like that during the end of last quarter i think
i think the worst was the 2 weeks i spent in kansas
the beginning part of that
Jason: if you don't mind me asking, do you have an idea of what may have started things in Kansas?
me: well im not too sure and i tried talking with some people but lets see
first off i just wasnt "in the mood" and just kinda didnt feel like i could engage
in what we were doing and i didnt really know why
and i didnt feel like even meeting people and talking to people
so i spent a lot of time in my room
um we had a lot of times of just like waiting, listening, imagining God and i guess i sorta got frustrated with that
many little things made me realize that i felt like i was detached from my emotions
and i felt like thats really important in my relationship with God to know His love and receive it
but i felt like i didnt even know what that really means and i guess it seems that others experience it and know it in such a real way
but thats kinda just things i was thinking at the time
i think a big part was me questioning myself and wondering where i am with God
and feeling a lack of identity
like not wanting to feel like im faking anything or forcing anything
but let things come from an overflow sort of
like i was talking with someone once and i said i felt like ive lived in obedience to God for most of my life and not often really knowing God
and i guess God honors that but ive felt like it is soo important to build that relationship but i dont know
Jason: those are some deep thoughts
me: and i came to a point to accept that its ultimately not in my control and giving it to God and looking to God to do His work, but its difficult
and i dont know if ive been even making an effort to come to Him these days
i guess just for a long time ive struggled with whether to cut off all my commitments/obligations and focus on my intimate time with God or to let God work through those things
and i feel like more than ever that God's calling me to the secret place, but im sorta afraid if i will really experience Him and know He is there, maybe
Jason: this may sound silly, but have you gotten rest lately?
and not just doing nothing sort of rest, but rest where you're able to sit back and seek God
me: ive wanted to, but like i said i guess ive felt unable to
even in times ive tried to sit before God i think i think too much or expect something so limiting or something
Jason: yeah, I've been there before
in those times, I just turn to the psalms and start reading until something catches my eye
I'm trying to find some notes I took a few years back
but the topic was on deserts and God
me: cool
yeah i know one thing is definitely that i havent been spending time in the word
Jason: kind of like when Israel was wandering through the desert for 40 years
they knew God was there, but they couldn't see it most of the time
but it's through those times that God seems far, that He's doing something in and with your life
me: yeah
i guess i feel like im almost doing something wrong or i gotta do something to get out of this place
Jason: the Word's definitely a good place to start
honestly, I'm surprised what sticks out to me when I read sometimes
I'll definitely be praying for you
me: yeah thanks
“If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.”
– Lewis Carroll (via suzywire)
dont know if this is wise to live by, but i think its how i live haha
June 2009
3 posts
AHHHHHHH!
thats a scream not a sigh
i just wanna release all my frustration and blah in my heart and life. how do i move from wanting to do things to actually doing? from desire to action. does it come from a weak body/will, lack of discipline, or lack of true desire? is it the whole “my heart says yes but my mind says no?(if thats even right) and i get frustrated at myself.
i want God but do i...
mr oswald chambers
thank you sir
seriously i just recently randomly(not random) got reminded of “my utmost for his highest” and its been some profound stuff literally every day.
some excerpts from the past couple days:
“Everyone who asks receives … .” This does not mean that you will not get if you do not ask, but it means that until you come to the point of asking, you will not...
“It is not on what we spend the greatest amount of time that molds us the most,...”
– Oswald Chambers
dont even know what this means
May 2009
2 posts
my thoughts poured out
…
sorry but its true. at least at this moment.
give me motivation. give me inspiration. give me vision of the future.
i need you
close call
for once it payed off for staying up late
April 2009
4 posts
interesting...
some color personality test. the first parts feel pretty accurate. especially in conjunction with my last post.
http://www.goldinuniverse.com/
Name: Andrew Date: 4/29/2009 Colorgenics Number: 61052473
Enough is enough - and you feel that you’ve had enough for a while. You don’t need any more battles. You just would like to be able to shout ‘stop’ and experience a...
slowing down?
i can’t remember the last time ive had to rest and think. schools seriously beginning to take over.. i dont want it to. i want to rest in you alone. i want to find peace and comfort and love and joy. show me where to go. or how to stop.
thinking out loud
me: man so hard for me to be decisive and whatever
David: hahahaha
i guess it was good learning exp. then!!
what was the hard part bout it?
me: i think part of it
is that if i say something its not just affecting me
and im always just kinda figuring stuff out and trying things and see as they turn out
and i dont want to guide people with my thoughts and lead them a wrong way
David: hmm i see.
me: and im just uncomfortable being put in the "spotlight" unless im kinda sure
David: hahaha i see.
hmm
so you feel like u need to be
not misleading and right?
me: sometimes
David: i see
so how was the experience for u then
me: well it was good
i think its good to build those characteristics
David: hmm
me: to be confident in what i say and be able to lead to an extent
David: haha yes indeed
me: i dont like having to pull something out thats not natural
David: natural i see
me: i also care about the desires of others and in pleasing that
so i usually dont press my own agenda, or my agenda is that of others
David: i see
wow a lot of
reflection on it haha.
me: haha yeah im like reflecting on myself here haha
im just writing as im thinking
this is COLLEGE
so i should be working on my essay due tomorrow, but i am not a good student. who really cares about gender differences and what society has become and is ever becoming? or more importantly what will my writing about it do to change anything?
so instead i give a look into my world as of this instant (or at least a half hour ago). i am sitting at my desk in next to darkness aside from my desk lamp...
March 2009
6 posts
missing you
i soo miss spending quality time with my maker
you are all i need
i kid
does this make me...
emo?
how do i adjust
[posted at noon after finally getting some sleep]
its 6:25am and i didnt just wake up.
naps are deceptive little things. i napped 3 hours yesterday and even after playing an hour of broomball afterwards, i still havent gotten sleep. i dont know if its a lack of discipline on my part or the after effects of a restful mini sleep.
i hate it when i wake up in the afternoon. the day feels lost and i...
“perfection is not a position, but a direction”
– random guy having bible study in covel
February 2009
11 posts
details
so i promised to update on the piss fiasco.
basically, i woke up at 4 am and much to my surprise there was my roomate standing at my bedside in the dark with only his boxer briefs on. next, he proceeded to piss on my bed (yes like a toilet) while i was comfortably lying down, but luckily i was not struck with any direct contact. i sprung up to dodge the stream and just kinda sat in shock and awe...
details later..
im not supposed to be wasting time on the computer but had to put this out. just gotta say i woke up at 4 am this morning. not out of my own desire but out of necessity. i spent an hour or so washing piss that is not mine out of my sheets and matress topper. the beauty of college. the thing is im not really pissed off either.
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all”
– Oscar Wilde