a look into the unknown

just letting you know im alive

thought about writing posts, but never really got around to it. i have a few drafts stored up but never published.

i wanna stop worrying about what you might think of me based off what i write. or stop trying to delicately manipulate your view of who i am. i really wish and hope i can be honestly honest and stop lying to you and lying to myself. ive been realizing how ridiculously much fear of man i live by. so much thats just so ingrained in me that im not even really conscious of. i feel that everything i do, at some level, is done to look good to others.

i believe this is the single largest stronghold in my life and i can’t even imagine what total freedom would feel like.

[somewhere in the back of my mind] hmm.. people would rather hear a person’s struggles, knowing that he’s human and humble enough to reveal weakness. lets throw out a post about that…

or am i just judging myself?